By the time I was 18 years old, I was part of 3 church splits, 2 of which shut down permanently.

Church is full of imperfect people trying to share life together in Christ. And sadly while we're on this side of eternity, there will always be conflicts that sometimes result in broken fellowship.

I view Broken fellowship as the division of church friendships with no intent of reconciliations.

Fellowship is a beautiful gift, but let’s be real—it’s also fragile. We’ve all experienced times when relationships within the church, family, or community break down.

It’s painful, it’s messy, and it often leaves us asking, “What went wrong?” The truth is, there are many reasons for broken fellowship, and understanding them can help us address and navigate these conflicts with grace and wisdom.

1. Sin

Let’s start with the hard truth: sin causes division. Some conflicts stem from genuine wrongdoing, whether intentional or not. We cannot minimize this reality. Certain sins are so severe that they require immediate distance or even legal action to protect those involved. In these cases, reconciliation isn’t the first priority—justice and accountability are.

While forgiveness is a key part of healing, it doesn’t mean ignoring the consequences of sin. True restoration begins with addressing the wrong in a way that honors God and protects others.

2. Policies

Policies are one of those necessary but frustrating realities of life. Whether in the church, the workplace, or even governments, policies are created to maintain order and structure. But here’s the problem: not everyone agrees on what those policies should look like.

This disagreement can create significant conflict. In the church, especially, policies can become a battleground when people feel their values or perspectives are being overlooked.

While we may not always agree, it’s important to remember that policies are human attempts to manage a broken world—they’re not perfect, and they’re certainly not eternal.

3. Preferences

We all have opinions about how things should be done. Whether it’s how a church service is structured, what songs are sung, or how decisions are made, preferences often clash. The reality is, no church (or organization) can implement every idea that comes along.

This can leave people feeling unheard or undervalued, especially when they’ve invested time and energy into their suggestions. While it’s natural to feel disappointed, we must remember that unity requires humility and a willingness to trust leadership, even when our preferences aren’t prioritized.

4. Perceptions

How we interpret the world and the people around us plays a huge role in conflict. Our perceptions are shaped by experiences, biases, and preconceived ideas. When someone doesn’t see things the way we do, it can create tension.

The problem arises when we let assumptions take the place of understanding. If we assume the worst about someone, our attitude toward them shifts, often leading to unnecessary division. To overcome this, we need to approach others with grace, seeking to understand before passing judgment.

5. Mindset

Our mindset is a powerful driver of how we interact with others. Without the mind of Christ, we tend to either judge people too harshly or dismiss red flags we shouldn’t ignore. How we think and feel about others directly impacts our actions and words.

This is why Scripture calls us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Daily surrendering our thoughts to Jesus allows us to see people through His eyes—with truth, grace, and love.

Conclusion
Broken fellowship isn’t easy to navigate, but understanding its causes can help us approach conflict with wisdom and grace. Whether the issue is sin, policies, preferences, perceptions, or mindset, the solution always involves leaning into Christ’s example.

He shows us how to seek justice, offer grace, and work toward true reconciliation. Relationships are worth fighting for—let’s be intentional about addressing the causes of division and pursuing unity in Him.