5 Reasons I stopped making controversial posts on social media
April 20th, 2024 | By Isaac Cano
I define a controversial social media post as the following:
"A post that in it's nature triggers anger, fear or a negative reaction out of others with limited humility or empathy and often promotes polarization and division without any resolve."
What inspired me to write this blog article was the amount of backlash the "He Gets Us'" Super Bowl commercial received from Christians all over the spectrum of beliefs. This is a commercial promoting the love of Jesus and not platforming any church or denomination. It's agenda really is to simply paint a picture of how Jesus would respond to people around us in today's culture.
But this blog article isn't about "He Gets Us".
Instead, I wanted to share a few reasons why I decided not to post or interact in controversial posts on social media. So without further delay, I'll jump in:
1. People don't know where I'm coming from
Most of the friends I have on Facebook are not close enough to deeply understand my heart and reason for my opinions. I call this lack of "heart context". This means more people will read a post and probably misjudge or misunderstand my intent for the content.
Some might argue that being misunderstood is the price to pay for communicating the facts.
I would argue that the less confusion you can make others experience about your heart, the better. I would also argue that most people don't discern between truth and opinions - facts and preferences. It's just too easy for someone to read a post and either twist it or build some agenda on it that I never intended.
2. Social Media acts too much as a street corner soap box
I was driving through the city I live in and saw a Christian guy holding huge signs saying "You're going to hell - repent" and yelling at us drivers through a mega phone. I'm sure this man's intentions were noble. But I'm pretty sure not one car that passed him responded well. Actually - I think it probably made even more people angry at Christians.
I think people use social media as a street corner where they can yell out what they believe to be truth through a digital megaphone.
The issue with this is that not only does this method not inspire change, it actually pushes people away from the message you're trying to communicate.
In a world where people are canceling, bashing and insulting others and their beliefs, I refuse to be someone who pushes people away. I resolve to use social media as a means to stay connected and nurture relationships.
I know - what an "out there" idea for social media.
3. There's no opportunity for meaningful dialogue
Social media has rarely ever helped people have good, meaningful conversations about ideas, perspectives and helping each other arrive at the truth in life. (I say rarely - yes if you gave a Group or Page with people with the same goals, you can have meaningful conversations in those smaller contexts. But not on your personal feed.) Most people posting their views have no intention of understanding where others are coming from. The art of communication collapses.
The most meaningful conversations that changed my life have always happened over coffee face-to-face. I can read the person's body language and vice-versa. I'm picking up on ques in their voice, getting a feel for their emotions and practicing good listening.
In return, I can communicate my thoughts, opinions and perspective with an attitude full of honesty, humility and understanding.
Even if I were good at doing this through my social posting, chances are people who are triggered with a response might not be, and it's these flurries of back and forth mud slinging that can ruin a well-intended post.
4. People say things they normally wouldn't say
To piggy-back off the previous reason, because there's no personal interaction, people are much more comfortable using hurtful words that they normally wouldn't say face-to-face with another person. There's less fear of repercussions so people speak with less consideration for others.
Unfortunately this can lead to people attacking each other instead of addressing a problem together. When we start attacking one another, there is no hope for any healthy dialogue or reconciliation.
"But Isaac", you say, "people will still hurt others with their words without needing social media". I totally agree. People can still attack and demoralize one another online or inperson. I just believe social media is the lighter fluid that fuels the fire.
5. People don't care what I think
Let's just be honest. None of my friends wake up and check social media because they're dying to see my controversial opinions! And I don't mean to burst your bubble, but neither are they just chomping at the bit waiting for the next time you post on Facebook.
People use social media to be entertained and inspired. (They used to use it to stay connected with family and friends, but Facebook figured out that our attention spans focused more on entertainment-driven content. So if you've wondered why you can spend hours watching reels of cute puppies, people jumping off buildings and DIY projects - it's because Facebook figured out what you enjoy and 90% of the content you see is based on those interests.)
So why would I spew my own personal opinions on people who don't care?
I'd rather spend my effort posting positive and encouraging posts that brighten people's days and hopefully inspire some good.
If I have an opinion to share, I prefer writing it in the form of a blog article and inviting people to read it. In this way, I'm not bombarding people's social feeds with confusing posts that cause more harm than good.
You might ask: "Isaac, isn't it important to be able to express our opinions freely without being hindered in any way?"
We can post whatever we want to or go to the social platform that will let us.
But if the goal is to connect with people, share ideas, inspire change - then why would we waste the opportunity to have personal dialogue? Why swim in the swamp (that is, creating a conversation online where people throw mud and garbage at each other because they can) when you can talk at the table (meaning, setting up a healthy space in context to the folks and ideas you want to dialogue with)?
"Isaac, are you saying we shouldn't post anything concerning? That our posts should always be "perfect", happy go-lucky posts? "
Not at all. I think there's a difference between controversial and concerning - or heavy, 'near to our heart' posts.
For example, I see people all the time posting about the difficulties in life. They post in memory of a loved one who has passed, or they're sharing about a sickness they're battling, or loss of a job. And you know what the silver lining, encouraging thing is in these posts? No one's mud slinging (at least most of the time). I see a lot of sympathy, support and strengthening from friends and family.
As I stated in the beginning of my post, I define controversial as "A post that in it's nature triggers anger, fear or a negative reaction out of others with limited humility or empathy and often promotes polarization and division without any resolve."
"That's great for you Isaac - but I'm going to continue to be my 'authentic self' and be genuine about how I see things "
I don't think being discerning about our posts is being "fake".
I think it's easy to misunderstand silence as a lack of honesty or being passive on an important topic. But again, if the goal is to share perspectives, inspire ideas, motivate action, etc - then picking a fight on social media, or "tellin' it like it is" , isn't going to work.
What do I use Facebook for then?
I tend to use Facebook for the following reasons:
Stay in touch with new acquaintances
People networking
Connecting with friends and family
Communicating meet-ups, events, gatherings with others
Sharing opportunities for people to make a difference
Keep others in the loop about personal life events
Watching Puppy Reels from time to time :)
How can we address controversial subjects that might anger others?
At the end of the day, there are going to be matters we must address and talk about that others won't agree with, and might even get angry at us for. But instead of using social media to have those talks, I'm simply advocating that we lean into reaching out to people directly. Invite them to coffee, have them over for dinner, or hop on a Zoom call.
Some of the best conflict resolution that has occurred for me happened in person.